Love what you do and do what you love

If you approach each year in quarters perhaps it could be easier to write brief, achievable to do lists, lay down plans and tick off each and every goal you set....or perhaps you are a teacher and you refer to the year in weeks and terms!

I return to teaching next week for the start of Semester 2, hitting the ground running with my Year 12s who are almost halfway through their final body of work.  Plus two lessons a week with some Year 8s that I am yet to meet...potentially the scariest part! 

I am only returning to two classes, three days a week and more importantly I am returning to PEOPLE CONTACT!

I have been a teacher of Visual Art since I was 21 years old and it has been an absolute joy and privilege to have met and have worked with (potentially) 1000+ young people in a variety of different settings from a wide range of backgrounds, abilities and cultures. For my 21 year old self the best part of becoming a teacher was being an ART teacher. That to me meant spending time in an art room, making art everyday, helping others, watching their work progress, having fun and sharing what I know and love to ultimately spread an infectious love of Art further. Of course with that comes planning, assessment, marking, deadlines, paper trails and reporting on EVERYTHING that your students have completed...or failed to complete AND should they have failed you of course map out and implement strategies to improve on everything you are doing as a teacher to ultimately benefit all of your students. That's right I was as eager as ever to get out there and do all of the above and I honestly believe I did all of that (and more) to the best of my ability over the past 9 years. Making art every day just is not possible when you devote your time, energy and focus to your students, I know this because I tried it and I ended up tired, stressed and torn. 

The best part of teaching Art is learning from others, inspiring others and being inspired. The exact same thing can be said about being an Artist. 

When I worked up the courage to vocalise my desire to work as an Artist full time, I knew that what would need to follow would be more courage. Courage and discipline.  Courage to ask for time off from teaching, courage to learn how to manage my own finances, courage to attempt to generate my own income and courage to tell people I am working as an artist. These were all things that I knew I would have to do and over the past 6 months I have faced the hurdles of starting a business, staying motivated and defending my choices. I have gained so much and I have overcome many personal fears so far this year. I am extremely grateful for having had this special gift of time to do so. It all seemed so selfish to me in the beginning, as did being an artist. So much in fact I searched for ways to use my time to help others, which I will never regret doing. The lessons learnt from doing only what's important to you are plentiful. 

I must not worry what others will think

My work is my passion 

Positives MUST outweigh negatives

I own my time

My hair is not important

There are people who energise me 

There are people who drain me

Fears must be faced

I can make my dreams my goals

I can achieve my goals

Shaving your head is liberating for yourself and for others

It has been a huge transitional period and as a result it has changed how I view myself and others. How I view my abilities and how I wish to approach and balance two of my passions...making art and teaching art. My next adventure includes finally building my own studio here at my home on Tamborine Mountain to privately showcase my artwork and run small art classes for young and old. This will allow for the public to view my work by appointment and purchase work direct from me. I plan on holding small workshops, creative sessions and personal tutoring for anyone interested as well as other local artists and Art teachers wanting to work collaboratively or simply wanting to share ideas. 

These portraits were painted by Gold Coast artist and jeweller Phee Braitwaite.
We spent an afternoon painting together and chatting about ideas.  

Paintings created by my 8 year old twin nieces during
two hour painting session. We talked about colours, patterns
and balance.

Being an artist is hard, I've said it before and many have said it to me. For this reason many believe it's not worthwhile to become an artist. What I know and can safely say is that one can not become an artist you are simply born an artist. Artists see the world a certain way and have an ability to show others their view through their art. So I am forgetting about becoming anything other than my true self and should that be an 'Artist who can teach' or a 'Teacher that makes art'  I won't allow the boundaries of such titles to define what I am and what I do.  

If I could choose...

Artwork by Keith Arnatt

If I had to pinpoint the first time I came across the 'Politics' involved with declaring oneself an artist, it would have to have been on my very first day at University...way back in the year 2000. There we all were, a bunch of randoms packed into a very dark, very hot little room with black painted walls and a rickety old air con unit working double time to cool us down during a typical Queensland Summer's day. It was the upper level of the first year's studio space on Merivale Street in South Brisbane, which also seemed to be the unknown and often forgotten about campus grounds belonging to QUT.

It was easy to spot the mature age students, the gay guys and gay girls, the eccentrics, the introverts and of course the baby faced, fresh out of high school...kids. Yep I was one of those babies! What wasn't so easy to spot was the great divide that was soon to come between those who were there to study straight Visual Art and those (like myself) who were cramming in a Double Degree of Vis Arts & Secondary Education in four years. Everyone seemed to be on a level playing field in that dark little room for the first 3 hours, but in the harsh daylight of our designated 'Lunch' break, the cracks in the friendly smiles started to appear.

Sadly and much to my surprise the group soon split into those who would be Teachers and those who would be full time, practicing Artists. This made me sad for many reasons. I had started to form some great bonds with other students who were not studying Education and it seemed they were encouraged by other students not to associate with the "Teacher Sell Outs"...their words, not mine. Also I found myself questioning my worthiness to continue being or even considering myself an Artist. I knew that I had submitted my portfolio like everyone else in that building and had been successfully accepted into the University after sitting through my hour long interview with the head of the Visual Arts Department, but yet it seemed to be an uneven playing field after all.

I have no doubt you have heard the phrase 'Those who can, do and those who can't, teach'. Well it seemed to be brought up more often than not throughout my first year at University, I guess all of us were thinking it and worrying about the judgment of our choices. For me teaching was a practical career choice which I had no idea would turn out to be a perfect fit! I desperately wanted to be an Artist...and certainly I still want for that. But when push came to shove I chose to tack on that Education Degree to ensure I would get a paying job and be capable of paying Mr Howard back his generous HECS student loan. Of course it was 3 years into my course before I actually got the chance to be in a classroom as a teacher and luckily for me I LOVED IT!!! Unfortunately for some of my fellow peers, this was not the case and some ended up changing their degrees so close to the finishing line.

Thank you Capstick13 on Flickr for this pic.

Back to my point....there seems to be no escaping the labeling, judging and POLITICS involved with declaring oneself an Artist and I just have to say I think it STINKS!! The worse offenders for this, surprisingly are ARTISTS, not the critics as one might assume. So I stupidly have been worried for far too long what other Artists have thought of me, my choices and my work. Why, I hear you ask?? Well I dunno really! But my guess would be a desire for respect, mutual admiration and  acceptance. I know, it's a common desire and frankly it is one we each deserve, irrespective of our careers and chosen pathways.


So I know fully well I will be labelled as Commercial ( which I guess fits, but damn it sounds so harsh...like Commercial Music....ick!) if I keep on selling works at a rate of knots. Which leads to another dark, hidden secret of the Art World. Did you know it's apparently bad to sell so much work if you want to be considered a serious artist??? According to some this is apparently the case...arghhhhh!!! Also one should never include airy fairy experiences on one's professional artist C.V. if they want Galleries to take them serious, so don't hang your work in cafe's and retail spaces. Oh yeah and don't post your work on Facebook or other Social Media sites too much, because people will copy your work or republish it as their own!!! Amazingly this is the kind of advice I have been given or have read or even overheard in conversation and I have done everything 'they' supposedly tell you not to do and so far I'm pretty satisfied with the way it's all turning out.

As for the labels and labeling I say....BRING IT ON!! Do your worse, I sincerely invite you. But if I could choose one label it would have to be 'Prolific'. Here are 6 reasons why (I like even numbers):
1. It has the word 'Pro' in it and that can't be bad right? Well especially not if I want to be taken serious as a SERIOUS Arteeeeest Darling :)
2. Many Great Artists were described as 'Prolific' and I plan on being described as a 'Great Artist' too!!! (Why stop at one label??)
3. 'Prolific' rhymes with 'Terrific'...which I also aspire to be...on a daily basis.
4. It's a crap load better than 'Commercial'!
5. It would set the bar high and keep my daily motivation on the up!
6. Who could question your practice if you made Art consistently, passionately and honestly...???

So there's my thoughts about 'Art Politics', Labels and turning it into Motivation. I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and views too.
Tamara x

It comes from within and it can be shared.

I recently realised that I have given more paintings away this year than I have sold or even painted. I put this down to a few good reasons:

1. I had more paintings lying around than I had time to actually paint.
2. I get far more gratification from seeing my work enjoyed than I do from making money off of them.
3. I realise I have a gift and I believe it should be shared.

 My work deals with issues of Identity, Desire and Beauty but ultimately it is an expression of what makes me happy and what I enjoy. Painting or any other form of expression is a highly self-indulgent act and few do it for money. While it is a dream of mine to work as a full time artist (not that it would seem like work) I feel guilty about actually spending my time on something so selfish. It has taken sharing my work on a public forum such as Facebook to fully realise that my Art actually makes others happy. This certainly softens the feelings of guilt and pure indulgence but more than anything it instills a greater desire to give.

On reflection of my life and recent practice I have realised more about myself as a person than I ever had before. I have found a confidence to express myself without fear of judgment and I have found an outlet for my inner voice. In doing so I have gained new found friends and supporters, I have continued to feel supported by those who always have been there for me but unfortunately I have seen the dark side of personal success as well. There will always be someone out there wanting to take advantage of your generosity, make money off your efforts without putting in their own and those who envy your drive and believe you to be 'greedy' or 'lucky'. This infuriates me but I know that I am a person who draws strength from within, while these negative individuals steal from others to get theirs. There's no true way to please everyone...but for those who are worth it the return is inevitable and worthwhile.

 So while my time for painting has been limited this year, my ideas and self-realisation have doubled. I know that my happiness comes from within and I intend to keep sharing it through my art in the hope to make others happy. I also know the act of giving is rewarded a thousand times over and I choose not to lose sight of that. I hope to one day be remembered as 'driven by creativity, love and pure happiness' and never thought of as 'self-indulgent' or 'lucky'! I also realise this is my next insecurity to overcome, because I know it doesn't matter what others think anyway.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

In love with Neo-Pop

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Consumer thoughts

Made my first visit to 'Made' yesterday to see the gallery space I am exhibiting at in October and have further ignited the motivation and excitement for the show. Have had thoughts bouncing through my mind all day of new concepts for paintings that revolve around my obsession for aesthetics in all aspects of life and the fuel this provides to buying, desiring and wanting material 'things'... because they are beautiful. But why? How does this make me feel and why does it become a strong desire? Surrounding ourselves with gorgeous things doesn't make us different on the inside, but it certainly does make us appear different to those viewing our lives from the outside. Does this make me shallow? I don't quite know. However for me, these beautiful 'things' are a reflection of my tastes in design, history, culture and life I guess. 

Going to purchase a brand new visual diary to start documenting all these ideas visually...before they fall from my mind!

Here is a clue as to what some of my exhibition work will include...the jar will serve as a metaphor of the depth of our consumer driven lives. How shallow are you?